65+ First Day of School Jokes Your Kids Will Love

Are you looking to give your kids something to smile about as they head back for the first day of school this year? Check out these funny First Day of School jokes for kids!

If you’re looking for a fun and SIMPLE way to add something fun for your kids on the First Day of School, try telling some of these cute First Day of School jokes and see if you can lift their moods a bit!

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Free Funny Lunchbox Jokes printables 

If you’re looking for a great way to help your kids start off the year on the right foot, be sure to grab the free Funny Lunchbox Notes from the Jen Bradley|MOMs Free printable library!  

The first day of school isn’t always easy, but when your kiddos find a cute note in their lunchbox or backpack, they’ll have something sweet to smile about!

Click right here or on the image below to get access!

free encouraging lunchbox notes for kids

Okay, onto the best First Day of School jokes for kids: 

First Day of School Jokes with Animals

What did the mother buffalo say to her son when she dropped him off at school? Bison.

What contest do skunks always win in school? The smelling bee. 

Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs. 

What files around the school at night? An alpha-bat. 

What dinosaur has the best vocabulary? The thesaurus. 

What does a snake learn in school? Hiss-tory. 

Why did the spider learn coding? So he could build a website. 

Related post: 145+ Printable Back-to-School Lunch Box Notes for Kids

How did the dog do so well in school? It was the teacher’s pet. 

What is the smartest insect? A spelling bee.

How did the fish get to school? It took the octobus. 

Why didn’t the fish go on vacation? Because he was always in school!

How does a mosquito get to school? On the school buzz. 

School Subject Jokes

Why are math books always so stressed out? Because they have so many problems.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

Why is history the sweetest subject? Because it’s full of dates. 

What type of school did King Arthur attend? Night school.

What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.

Why isn’t there a clock in the library? It tocks too much. 

What school did the surfer graduate from? Boarding school.

What did the girl say to her math book? Someday you’re going to have to solve your own problems. 

Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet? They keep getting lost at C. 

What school does an ice cream man attend? Sundae school. 

What is a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!

Why was the geometry book so adorable? It has acute angles!

Funny School Supply Jokes

Where does the writing utensil go on vacation? Pencil-vania. 

What is the king of school supplies? The ruler. 

Why do calculators make great friends? You can always count on them.

Why was the glue so bad at math? It kept getting stuck on the problems. 

What does a book do when it’s cold? Puts on a jacket.

What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!

What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp! 

First Day of School Jokes Kids

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? She wanted to go to high school. 

What would you get if you had 17 strawberries, 11 blueberries, 9 grapes, and 3 apples? A fruit salad! 

Why did the echo get detention? It kept answering back. 

What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!

Why did the kids cross the playground? To get to the other side!

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll! 

Why did the kid eat his homework? His teacher said it was a piece of cake. 

How do you get straight A’s? Use a ruler!

Why did the egg get thrown out of school? It kept telling yolks. 

How do you make seven even? Take away the “s.”

Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day? It kept going back for seconds. 

Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees. 

What room can a student never enter? A mushroom. 

Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It’s not right. 

Where is the best place to grow flowers at school? In kinder-garden. 

Why was the little broom late for school? It over swept. 

What do you call a student with a dictionary in their back pocket? A smarty pants.

Why did the square and triangle go to the gym? So they could stay in shape!

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Why did the M&M go to school? It wanted to be a smartie!

What school requires you to drop out to graduate? Sky diving school.

Why can’t a nose be 12-inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

First Day of School Teacher Jokes

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed on the first day of school? She couldn’t control her pupils. 

How did Viking teachers communicate? By Norse code. 

Why did the math teacher have his students do multiplication on the floor? He didn’t want to use tables. 

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square!

Why did the teacher draw on the window? He wanted his lesson to be very clear.

What U.S. state has the most math teachers? Math-achusetts.

Why did the geometry teacher miss a class? She sprained her angle. 

What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? A bookworm. 

Why did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom? Her keys were on the piano! 

What happened when the teacher tied all of the students’ shoelaces together? They took a big class trip. 

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, “Spit out that gum.” A train says, “Chew chew!” 

What food do math teachers eat? Square meals.

Why did the teacher jump in the pool? He wanted to test the water. 

What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi. 

Funny First Day of School Knock Knock Jokes 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there?


B-4 who? 

B-4 you go to school, get dressed, and brush your teeth!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 


Pencil who?

Never mind, this is pointless. 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there?


Teddy who? 

Teddy (today) is the first day of school!

Final thoughts about the cutest First Day of School jokes for kids

I hope your kids will love these adorable First Day of School jokes! 

Remember, you don’t have to do ALL of the crafts, gifts, parties, etc, etc, etc to make your kids feel loved on the First Day of School. 

You can do a few small and simple things – like tell these cute First Day of School jokes for kids or put a simple Funny Lunchbox Note in their lunchbox (remember, we’ve got some in the Jen Bradley|MOMs Free Printable library for you!) – that can help your kids start the new school year off with a smile! 

Related articles about adjusting back to school:

7 Brilliant Ways to Give Your Kids Individual Attention

How to Actually Wake Up Early (and Not Be Tired!)

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Which one of these First Day of School jokes for kids made you smile most? 

65+ First Day of School Jokes Your Kids Will Love65+ First Day of School Jokes Your Kids Will Love65+ First Day of School Jokes Your Kids Will Love65+ First Day of School Jokes Your Kids Will Love

Jen Bradley, the founder of Jen Bradley|MOMs

Hi there! I’m so glad you’re here. I am a mom who believes that meaningful connections with our kids can happen in small and simple ways. Read More …


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