45 Funny + Clean Happy New Year Jokes for Kids

Looking for a quick and easy way to enjoy the New Year with your kids? Check out these 45 great happy New Year jokes for kids right here!

Kids love jokes, so why not tell a few happy New Year jokes as part of a kid-friendly New Year celebration this year?

In addition to making up a bunch of our own New Years’ jokes, we’ve also scoured the Internet to find the best clean New Year jokes for kids you can find anywhere!

From sources such as Parade, Reader’s Digest, and Ranker, we’ve filtered out the more risque jokes and found the ones that we think your kids will enjoy the most.

You’ll find great jokes about New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, animal jokes, and of course, some great New Years’ Knock-Knock jokes too.

Keep reading to check them out!

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Funny and Clean Happy New Year Jokes for Kids

Q: What did guests say about the firecracker’s New Year’s Eve party?

A: It was a blast!

Q: Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?

A: Times Square

Q: What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?

A: Chill out.

Q: What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st?

A: It’s New Years, Eve.

Q: What does a ghost say on New Year’s Eve?

A: Happy Boo Year.

Q: What is corn’s favorite holiday?

A: New Ears Eve.

Q: Why should you put your calendar in the freezer on New Year’s Eve?

A: To start the New Year off in a cool way.

Q: What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Eve?

A: Happy New Cheer!

Q: What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

A: Hogs and kisses.

Free New Year’s Eve Printables for Kids

For even more New Year’s Eve fun with your kids, download and print our FREE New Year’s Eve Printable Games right here! You’ll find bingo cards, a photo scavenger hunt, Mad Libs, and more.

To get access to the Jen Bradley|MOMs Free Printable Library, click right here or on the image below.

Q: Why should you stand on your left foot during the New Year’s countdown?

A: So you start the new year on the right foot!

Q: Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on December 31st?

A: He wanted to start the New Year with sweet dreams.

Q: Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.

A: It’s December 31st.

Q: Why did the woman start making breakfast at 11:59p on New Year’s Eve?

A: She wanted to make a New Year’s toast.

Q: Why does the man in charge of Times Square always feel like a failure on December 31st?

A: He always drops the ball.

Q: What does a ghost say on New Year’s Eve?

A: Happy Boo Year!

Q: What happened to the fireworks who were arrested on New Year’s Eve?

A: They were let off.

Q: Who gets the most excited about the New Year’s countdown?

A: Calendar companies!

Q: What did the little sparking cider bottle call his father?

A: Pop!

Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?

A: Waiting for the punchline.

Q: Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?

A: To ring in the New Year!

Q: Why did the boy have to go to the doctor on New Year’s Eve?

A: He had too many punches.

Q: Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve?

A: For old fangs time.

Q: What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?

A: Firecrackers.

Q: What do you say to someone when you see them after midnight on New Year’s Eve?

A: I haven’t seen you since last year!

Clever New Year’s Day Jokes for Kids

Q: What is a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?

A: 1080p.

Q: What happened to the man who stole the calendar?

A: He got twelve months!

Q: What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?

A: No one is awake to see either of them.

Q: What does a field grow on January 1st?

A: New Year’s hay.

Q: What new year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?

A: To travel more.

Q: What do zombies say on New Year’s Day?

A: Happy New Fear.

Q: What is a New Year’s resolution?

A: Something that goes in one year and out the other!

Q: What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more?

A: Put subtitles on your TV.

Q: What did the chef make for his New Year’s dinner?

A: New Year’s filet.

Q: What did the Founding Fathers do on New Year’s Day?

A: They signed the New Year’s constitution.

Q: In what year does New Years Day come before Christmas?

A: Every year.

Q: What is one group that hates New Year’s Day?

A: The Times Square clean-up crew.

Funny New Year’s Jokes for Kids about Animals

Q: What did one wildebeest say to the other wildebeest?

A: Happy gnu year!

Q: What is a cow’s favorite holiday?

A: Moo Year’s Eve.

Q: Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve?

A: It’s too far to walk.

Q: What was the caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution?

A: To turn over a new leaf!

Q: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Eve?

A: Hoppy New Year!

Q: What did the dog say on New Year’s Eve?

A: Woof.

New Year’s Eve Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby New Year.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Howie.

Howie who?

Howie gonna stay up until midnight? I’m tired!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Razor.

Razor who?

Razor glass and say Happy New Year!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Radio.

Radio who?

Radio or not, it’s a New Year!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Hannah.

Hannah who?

Hannah Happy New Year.

Final thoughts about these New Year’s Eve jokes for kids

We hope you’ve enjoyed these happy New Year jokes for kids!

Here at Jen Bradley|MOMs, we believe that small and simple things (like a few great kid-friendly jokes) can make a big difference in helping you create great family memories with your kids.

Oh, and P.S. – Before you go, don’t forget to join our Free Printable Library right here to get access to the Free New Year’s Eve printable games and activities for your kids!

Which is your favorite Happy New Year jokes for kids?

45 Funny + Clean Happy New Year Jokes for Kids

Hi there! I’m Jen and I’m so glad you’re here. I am a mom who believes that meaningful connections with our families can happen in small and simple ways. Read More …