65 Cute and Funny Valentine’s Jokes for Kids to Tell

Are you looking to give your kids something to smile about this Valentine’s Day? Check out these funny Valentine’s Day jokes for kids!

Although Valentine’s Day is often viewed as a holiday for adults, these cute Valentine’s Day jokes can make it more fun for kids too!

It’s so easy to find fun holiday ideas for kids that make us feel like we now have one more thing to add to our plate as moms to make the holiday special. (here’s looking at you, Pinterest!)

  • Monthly baskets? Oh man. 
  • Festive breakfasts? Mornings can be crazy!
  • Holiday themed arts and crafts? So much mess. 

But maybe you’re like me and you’re looking for a SIMPLE way to do something fun for your kids on Valentine’s Day.

This list of Valentine’s Day jokes for kids can satisfy the fun AND simple requirements – and help you feel excited about sharing the annual day of love with your kiddos!

Free Valentine’s Day printables

For more EASY Valentine’s fun for your kids, be sure to grab the free Valentine’s Day printables from the Jen Bradley|MOMs Free printable library! There are coloring pages, word searches, matching games, Valentine’s bingo cards, and more!

Valentine's Day free printables

Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission if you click through or purchase at no cost to you. For more information, click here.

Okay, onto the best Valentine’s Day jokes for kids:

Animal Valentine’s Jokes

What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day? Lots of hogs and kisses

What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? Whale you be mine?

What did one bee say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love bee-ing with you, honey!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine’s Day? Burned lips

What do owls say to declare their love? Owl be yours!

What did one cat say to another on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect!

valentines day jokes your kids will love

What did one slug say to another Valentine’s Day? Be my Valen-slime! 

What did the squirrel say to his Valentine? I’m nuts about you! 

What did the girl squirrel reply? You’re nuts so bad yourself! 

What did the rabbit say to her Valentine? Somebunny loves you. 

What did the sheep say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? I love ewe. 

How did the sheep’s wife reply? You’re not so baaaa-d yourself! 

What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand. 

What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? You’re so much fun to hang around with! 

valentine jokes for kids

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! 

What did one snake say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Give me a hug and a hiss! 

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? I love you a ton. 

Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They’re getting married in the spring!

What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

What did the girl bear say to the boy bear on Valentine’s Day? I love you bear-y much.

What did the buck say to the doe on Valentine’s Day? You’re a dear

Around the house Valentine’s Jokes for Kids

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did one lightbulb say to another on Valentine’s Day? I love you a whole watt. 

clean valentines day jokes

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring!

Why did the girl put candy under her pillow? She wanted to have sweet dreams. 

Laugh Out Loud Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

Perfect for elementary school ages, this book is full of cute Valentine’s Day jokes and would make a great (and inexpensive!) gift! 

Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids by Chrissy Voeg

The jokes in this book are a lot of fun for kids to share with family and friends! It also includes bonus activity pages in the back. 

Cute Valentine’s Jokes for Kids

What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valen-tiny.

What did one volcano say to another on Valentine’s Day? I lava you.

What did one oar say to another on Valentine’s Day? Can I interest you in a little row-mance?

What did one flame say to another on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match!

What did the ghost say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? You’re so boo-tiful. 

What did the Valentine get arrested for? For stealing someone’s heart.

What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s day? My heart beats for you.

funny kids valentines jokes

What did the painter say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? I love you with all my art. 

What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Sherwood like to be your boyfriend. 

Why would you want to marry a goalie? Because he’s a real keeper!

What type of shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day? Acute triangle!

Have you got a date for Valentine’s Day? Yep, it’s February 14th.

What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day? Be my Valen-stein.

Why did the sheriff lock up his girlfriend? She stole his heart.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? Nope, they had an apple! 

What happened when the two angels got married? They lived harp-ily ever after!

cute valentines jokes for kids

What’s the most romantic city in England? Loverpool.

What did cavemen give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Lots of ughs and kisses!

What do single people say on Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day!

What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse? I’ve got a crutch on you! 

Funny Food Valentine’s Jokes 

What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers.

Where did the hamburger take his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? To the meatball.

kids valentines jokes

What did the strawberry say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much!

What did the watermelon say to his Valentine? You’re one in a melon.

What did the piece of toast say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? You’re my butter half! 

What did one muffin say to the other muffin on Valentine’s Day? You’re my stud muffin!

What did one beet say to the other beet on Valentine’s Day? My heart beets for you!

What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom on Valentine’s Day? There’s so mushroom in my heart for you!

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it has so much heart! 

kids valentine's day jokes

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I’m sweet on you! 

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date! 

What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Valentine’s Day? You mean a great dill to me.

What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? ChocoLATE.

What did the baker say to his sweetheart? I’m dough-nuts about you!

What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.

What did the biscuit say to the jelly on Valentine’s Day? You’re my jam. 

What did the egg say to the bacon on Valentine’s Day? Don’t go bacon my heart. 

What did the bacon reply to the egg? I couldn’t if I fried.

funny valentines jokes for kids

Final thoughts about the cutest Valentine’s Day jokes for kids

I hope your kids will love these adorable Valentine’s Day jokes!

Remember, you don’t have to do ALL of the crafts, gifts, parties, etc, etc, etc to make your kids feel loved on Valentine’s Day.

You can do a few small and simple things – like tell these cute Valentine’s Day jokes and download the fun and easy Valentine’s Day printables from the Free Printables Library (wink, wink) – that can make some sweet Valentine’s Day memories your kids will always remember.

(Jokes are sourced from Today, Good Housekeeping, Red Tri, Reader’s Digest, and Kids Activities.)

Related articles about Valentine’s Day

21 Amazing Valentine’s Day Ideas for Kids You Need to See

21 Fun Valentine’s Day Movies to Watch with Your Kids This Year

The 41 Best Valentine’s Books for Kids You Need to Read This Year

 

Which one of these Valentine’s Day jokes for kids do you like best?

 

Jen Bradley is the creator of The Confident Closet

Hi there! I’m so glad you’re here. I am a mom of five kids who believes that motherhood simplified is the best way to live momlife. Read More …

 

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